she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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