Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I'm at about main and main street
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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