Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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