Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
