I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
