UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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