jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
