I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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