no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
