Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize