Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
