Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize