Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize