btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
