dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Randomize