Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
