I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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