Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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