i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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