that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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