Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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