I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
