I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Randomize
