I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
me + whiskey = a bad person
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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