Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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