Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
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