Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
The power of my boobs compel you
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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