yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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