forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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