Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
