Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
