I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
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