2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
