I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
