I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
