Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
