what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I'm always down for nudity.
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