I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
She even gives head with a lisp.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
