If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
