White coat. Heels.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
