So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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