did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
