Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
