next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize