So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
only if we run a train.
done.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
