I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize