just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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