got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
