You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
