Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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