Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
