I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
