she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
