Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
bring money and cleavage
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
