He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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