nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
