its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
