in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
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