And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
