Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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