I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
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