well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
